Yet, I am not Destroyed

This whole week has been good to me. Things are going well and I am happy. I look outside and actually see the color that has for so long eluded me. As I see such wonderful things I wonder what it is that has changed, for as I look I see that all is, in actuality, the same as before.

So what is different? Is it the time that has passed that, perhaps, mended the broken pieces in my heart? Or is it the people I am now around that have uplifted me or the people I have distanced myself from that no longer hold me down? As I ponder on what it is that has changed I realize what it truly is.

It's me.

The world outside has not changed. When I look at the news it is still filled with disaster and heartache. When I think about my schooling I am still in debt. In truth, all the things that stressed me out before remain. The fundamental difference, However, is that I have learned how to trust. To trust myself, to trust my wife, to trust God.

I have realized that I have no control over this world, but I have ALL the control over MY world. I can not change the terrible things in this world. One could liken it today to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Yet, I am not destroyed. I still prosper and if I truly think of it, I am greatly blessed! I dare not go into the specifics of my life to explain why I am so blessed, but suffice to say that they are nothing extraordinary. My blessings are the same as you and the person down the street. So why am I happy? Because I choose to be.

No one can know what the future will hold, and you can be almost curtain it will hold hardships and trials. However, please don't forget that there will be just as many, if not more, happy and fortunate times as the hard.

Remember to SMILE! :)

A Reason for Trying

Over the past few months there has been so many changes to my life. I have gone through an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows, striving and winning, and coasting just to get by. Yet, through all ofwhat I have been going through one thing still remains the same... I'm Happy :)

Anyone who has been married knows the stress that is involved with this undertaking. Countless hours of preparation and study into various avenues were taken for just a simple wedding. ( I mean, come on, we had Odder Pops at our wedding!) This in itself is enough to get anyone stressed out, even if it is a "Good" stress.

Add to that the fact that my hours were cut at work to only 4 hours a week, going to school full time at the end of getting my degree when it is hardest, finding a new job, making sure we can pay bills, updating my portfolio, actually getting a new job that takes a large amount of work and you get a recipe for stress and potential mental explosion! You all know how this is. I don't need to tell you that life is hard. Every single one of you have experienced it.... ARE experiencing it! This is not new. What is new, at least for me, is that I have learned to just breath.

I have so many things on my plate that some would say it is imposable to NOT be discouraged, but I can tell you, surprising enough, I'm not! I am actually very hopeful for the future! Maybe it is because of my new job that helps me feel good, maybe it's because I have an AMAZING wife who supports me and helps me every step of the way, maybe its because I was raised to see the good, I have no idea. But I honestly don't think it was any one thing at all.

If I had to pin it down to just one thing I would have to say its my ambition, my drive, my reason for trying. What does this entail? So many things! My particular reasons for trying simple yet powerful. I am newly married and MUST provide for my family. This means I have to work NOW for us to be happy and make it by, and I must work for the FUTURE by going to school and making sure I am bettering myself for a better life. I am looking for more then just "OK" We currently are doing "OK" we could get by no problem the rest of our lives like this and be fine, but I am looking for more then fine, more then "OK" I don't care about the money part of that, but I am working to make a better LIFE! And I am doing it now, because if you don't do it now you won't ever. It's true when they say "Tomorrow" will never come.

Another thing that is important is chiefly, my Wife. She is such a blessing to me. She believes in me truly. She watches me as I am trying my best and literally tells me everyday that she is thanksfull for me and all I do, even though we are dirt poor right now. And she isn't just sitting there either. She is trying her best. She is also going to work and helping me pursue what it is that I wish to pursue. She is amazing.

Now, i don't know what your motivations are. I don't know what your reasons for trying are, but I can GUARANTEE you they are out there!!! Find them and cling to them!!! I don't care if it is just to make money and get the fancy car you have always wanted, or to be recognized my people, or even if it is just to get out of debt. I DON'T CARE! The simple fact is this..


If you don't do something NOW, won't the next 5 years look exactly like the last 5 years?

The long process of growing

First of all, sorry it has been so long sense I have posted. I recently got married and have been a tad busy with that. ;)

It is actually my marriage that brings up the point I wish to make today. I am married to the most amazing woman in the world. We were just married last Friday and have already gone through several trials. We have grown and matured with each other and have had to make several very important decisions together as well, and as I was laying with her today I realized something that made me very very grateful for our situation.

Hannah and I are both 25 years old and have never been married. We have both longed for marriage and a family for many years (me personally since I was 15) and we both strongly agree that marriage is a sacred bond that should not be taken lightly and should never use divorce as an out. (Divorce in it self is a completely different matter that I will not get into today. Suffice to say that there is a time and a place for divorce, but should not be used frequently.) We have both matured enough that we have our own foundations and know who we are. I am very happy that I waited to marry such a wonderful person.

To some this may sound strange. To think that someone could wait to be married, or even have sex, until they are 25 years old is rather ludicrous in this day and age. It is not uncommon for someone my age to have already been married and divorced. In fact, I have heard the term "Starter Marriage" used as an excuse to get married and divorce far too much. In our society we see this as normal and acceptable, but if you truly step back and take a look at the big picture you will see a major flaw in this mindset.

I am a Christan and believe that God's plan and order of life is perfect and he knows what is best. However, even if you are not a Christan the method of thinking which I am about to describe still applies and should be considered.

When you are young you are in the "Me" stage of life. This is not to say that you are selfish, but it is evident that you are looking out for yourself and wanting to learn everything you can. This is normal and actually healthy. From the time we can distinguish the difference between right and wrong we are trying to perfect ourselves the best way we know how. Some may take a more destructive path, but the purpose is the same, they are trying to become who they want to be. This process of discovering and perfecting takes place until the time you get married.

Once you are married you then are no longer focused on just yourself, but also your spouse. You no longer spend the entire day playing games, doing chores, doing your hobbies, or anything that is solely a one person activity. You use your time to do things as a couple and make sure you set time aside for that person. This is not to say that you no longer are yourself or even that you no longer have your alone time. There needs to be a healthy amount of self discovery still, even after marriage, but the simple fact remains that the most of your time will be devoted to the other. Not to give them everything they want, but to work together to start to build a home where ever you live. To make 1 life out of 2 people. And believe me, this is not a simple task.

After you have built your home and feel complete, you are ready to add to that home, for what is a house without people to live in it? It is the next step to have children and to raise those children to be good outstanding people. This is probably the most important step and will last the rest of your life. No matter how old you or the child may get, you are still their parent.

First you are born. Then you are made strong (not perfected, because that will take more then a lifetime.) Then you are given another. Together you start to build. When your house is strong you are given more. Thus we see the progression of life and the broader picture.

Notice that I never gave ages for these steps. That is because NO ONE can tell you when you are ready for the next step. And to be quite honest, often times YOU don't even know. I remember when I was 17, still in high school, and I thought I was ready to marry the girl I was dating at the time. I was determined that I knew myself and knew I could make it. I look back today and realize I was a fool. I was no where near ready and am very grateful to NOT have taken that path at that time.

Now, before anyone goes and assumes I am condemning those that got married young or started a family when they may not have been married, let me just say that I am doing NO SUCH THING. We must always remember that despite ANY decision we make there is always a way to make the outcome better. And if anyone knows my family history they know that I speak from experience and with complete knowledge of the truth of this.

These steps go in this particular order for a reason. It is meant to be this way. Unfortunately we usually do not see its purpose until after we have screwed up a bit, but we can do what we can to help those after us and to help our future as well.

Osama Bin Laden killed! A Reign of Terror Ended

It is fair to say that I am not much of a political person or even into governmental issues, but the issue of finding Bin Laden has been something I have always agreed with. This mass murderer needed to be stopped at all costs. Not only was he an enemy and tyrant of the United States, but he was a murderer and the very face of evil for the whole world. It is in this realization that I celebrate his death. Good riddens to bad rubbish.

As I was talking to my roommates and parents about this historic event it occurred to me that never in my life have I ever celebrated the death of another human being. Although it is hard to imagine, God even loves this low life and wishes to have him in his presence. As I thought about this I was reminded of the meny accounts int he bible when God had to force his hand in making sure justice and righteousness was carried out, and I do believe Justice was carried out in stopping a tyrant from ever hurting another individual again. I do not profess to speak for God in any manner, but I do say that the world is better off with a worm like Osama Bin Laden dead!

It occurred to me as well that in many ways Osama Bin Laden was the Hitler of our generation. It could be argued that Osama did not do quite as many horrible things or did not even have as much power as Hitler, but I believe it is fair to say that he was an enemy to the world just as Hitler was.

Bin Laden was not just the United State's enemy. He was a world wide terrorist! He killed thousands of people from all nations and was hunted by more then just the U.S. As President Obama stated last night, it was in conjunction with Pakistan that we even got Bin Laden. He was a tyrant, murderer, thief, radicle,  and poor excuse for a human being, and the world is a better place without him.

God Bless America