The ever changing price of happiness

What is the price for success? What is truly considered success? When will I be "OK"? Is it too late for me?

Some of these questions have been resonating in my mind for a few days now. It is my belief that we all ask ourselves these questions and ask them several time throughout our lives, and, indeed, I believe the answer to each question has the ability to change depending on your current stage in life. Our particular circumstances generally end up defining how we feel and what we expect the future to become. So, really, the real question is how do we stay happy?

Happiness
If our general happiness and outlook on the future is based largely on what your circumstances are at that particular moment, and those circumstances regularly change, how can we stay happy? Is there a constant that we can hold onto? Any religious person would say that God is the only true constant. That our lives are far too complicated and unpredictable to rely on mortality.

On the other hand, a non religious person would say that religion is not constant if there is no God to provide. So they, in turn, would look for something in this life they could hold on to.

What are YOUR thoughts?

Success
One could categorize success as the funds received every month or year, or the feeling of power or importance in their lives. Another would say it is the success of his/her children and their happiness, or the happiness felt from having those children. Yet another may say it is the feeling of freedom of debt and worry of finances.

Truly, I believe it is an individual perspective of what is important to you. I believe it is innate in us to want our posterity to be happy and loved, but I also believe people can push that aside enough to make other things such as money or financial freedom more important. So the question is what is important to you? You may be surprised to realize that, despite what you WANT, something you didn't expect is more important than you supposed.

Now, I believe it is important to realize that NON of these options are necessarily wrong or right. They are merrily priorities. To me, it only become wrong when you neglect one for the other.

I have never searched for riches or fame or any type of riches. All I have ever wanted was to provide for my family, yet I did not realize how important that was to me until I got married. I absolutely HATE the fact that my wife has to work right now in order to pay the bills. So, for right now, obtaining an income is high in my priorities right now. Five years down the road, that may very well change, but as I said earlier it is determined by your current circumstance.

Ultimately, I believe your happiness is dependent on yourself. One can find happiness in the dirt and grime of the world if his/her priorities are on what they wish. Anyone that knows me knows that I, myself, struggle with this, but I do believe it. I am not saying it is easy, and I AM saying that you wont get it right away. In fact, you may get it one moment and then something may happen and you may have to rediscover it, but I do believe it is there.

So what if it rains!

So, this past week I have been in Portland, Oregon. It is sooooo beautiful there! Green as far as the eyes can see! I lived in Oregon for 2 years and loved every minute of it. In fact, I hope to actually move there one day with my wife. I love the feeling I get when I am there. And, yes, I know that it rains ALL THE TIME there, but I can't help but love it.


In going there this last time it really made me think about how we as humans view things. If any of you have ever been to Portland you know that it is full of WIERDOS! Everyone there seems to try and outdo the other in wierdness. It is truly a place of variety and diversity. Once could easily look at all the strange people in Portland and say something like "I could never live here, there are just so many wierdos!" In my point of view, those weirdos are the ones that give spice to the world. Can you imagine what it would be like if everyone was just cut and dry? One may not like the different people because they have a different opinion about things you feel strongly about. That may be true, but that is no reason to shun them, or berate their opinion. Everyone has different view points and we should use those view points to see around the obstacles in front of us.

Another thing I thought of was the fact that it rains all the time there. A Lot of people would hate that and say it would depress them. I know about depression. i have suffered with it all my life. There are somethings that you can not change with it. And it is true that some things with depression are very chemical, but there is also alot of it that is physiological. It may rain a lot in your life, but ultimately it is your perspective that really matters. When I hear people talk about Oregon and how they hate the rain all I can think is if it wasn't for "All that rain" it would NOT be green and beautiful!! The cup can be half full you know. lol So when the rains of life weigh you down, try to take a look at what will grow from it after.

Yet, I am not Destroyed

This whole week has been good to me. Things are going well and I am happy. I look outside and actually see the color that has for so long eluded me. As I see such wonderful things I wonder what it is that has changed, for as I look I see that all is, in actuality, the same as before.

So what is different? Is it the time that has passed that, perhaps, mended the broken pieces in my heart? Or is it the people I am now around that have uplifted me or the people I have distanced myself from that no longer hold me down? As I ponder on what it is that has changed I realize what it truly is.

It's me.

The world outside has not changed. When I look at the news it is still filled with disaster and heartache. When I think about my schooling I am still in debt. In truth, all the things that stressed me out before remain. The fundamental difference, However, is that I have learned how to trust. To trust myself, to trust my wife, to trust God.

I have realized that I have no control over this world, but I have ALL the control over MY world. I can not change the terrible things in this world. One could liken it today to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Yet, I am not destroyed. I still prosper and if I truly think of it, I am greatly blessed! I dare not go into the specifics of my life to explain why I am so blessed, but suffice to say that they are nothing extraordinary. My blessings are the same as you and the person down the street. So why am I happy? Because I choose to be.

No one can know what the future will hold, and you can be almost curtain it will hold hardships and trials. However, please don't forget that there will be just as many, if not more, happy and fortunate times as the hard.

Remember to SMILE! :)

A Reason for Trying

Over the past few months there has been so many changes to my life. I have gone through an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows, striving and winning, and coasting just to get by. Yet, through all ofwhat I have been going through one thing still remains the same... I'm Happy :)

Anyone who has been married knows the stress that is involved with this undertaking. Countless hours of preparation and study into various avenues were taken for just a simple wedding. ( I mean, come on, we had Odder Pops at our wedding!) This in itself is enough to get anyone stressed out, even if it is a "Good" stress.

Add to that the fact that my hours were cut at work to only 4 hours a week, going to school full time at the end of getting my degree when it is hardest, finding a new job, making sure we can pay bills, updating my portfolio, actually getting a new job that takes a large amount of work and you get a recipe for stress and potential mental explosion! You all know how this is. I don't need to tell you that life is hard. Every single one of you have experienced it.... ARE experiencing it! This is not new. What is new, at least for me, is that I have learned to just breath.

I have so many things on my plate that some would say it is imposable to NOT be discouraged, but I can tell you, surprising enough, I'm not! I am actually very hopeful for the future! Maybe it is because of my new job that helps me feel good, maybe it's because I have an AMAZING wife who supports me and helps me every step of the way, maybe its because I was raised to see the good, I have no idea. But I honestly don't think it was any one thing at all.

If I had to pin it down to just one thing I would have to say its my ambition, my drive, my reason for trying. What does this entail? So many things! My particular reasons for trying simple yet powerful. I am newly married and MUST provide for my family. This means I have to work NOW for us to be happy and make it by, and I must work for the FUTURE by going to school and making sure I am bettering myself for a better life. I am looking for more then just "OK" We currently are doing "OK" we could get by no problem the rest of our lives like this and be fine, but I am looking for more then fine, more then "OK" I don't care about the money part of that, but I am working to make a better LIFE! And I am doing it now, because if you don't do it now you won't ever. It's true when they say "Tomorrow" will never come.

Another thing that is important is chiefly, my Wife. She is such a blessing to me. She believes in me truly. She watches me as I am trying my best and literally tells me everyday that she is thanksfull for me and all I do, even though we are dirt poor right now. And she isn't just sitting there either. She is trying her best. She is also going to work and helping me pursue what it is that I wish to pursue. She is amazing.

Now, i don't know what your motivations are. I don't know what your reasons for trying are, but I can GUARANTEE you they are out there!!! Find them and cling to them!!! I don't care if it is just to make money and get the fancy car you have always wanted, or to be recognized my people, or even if it is just to get out of debt. I DON'T CARE! The simple fact is this..


If you don't do something NOW, won't the next 5 years look exactly like the last 5 years?