IMPORTANT - I have moved the site!

So I have decided to move my site. The new URL is http://ronbeck7.weebly.com This site gives me much more freedom. So if you have subscribed to my blog PLEASE PLEASE resubscribe on the new site. You will have to do it through the RSS feed. If you are unsure how to do that, here is the steps.

1) Go to http://ronbeck7.weebly.com

2) Click on the RSS button in the very top right corner of the page. (It looks like sound waves coming from a small circle)

3) It will then ask you if you would like to subscribe using google, yahoo, or some other form of blog readers. Just pick the one you use and follow the steps. :)

Thank you guys so much! I will be re-posting most of the old one from this site on the new one. And, of course, I will only be updating the new blog.

Some Funny Pictures I Made

So, I have been wanting to do some pictures like this for a while and I finally got around to doing it. These are all made by me. Simple, but I think they are pretty funny. I am going to make a page for them on this blog and a Link will be at the top to all of them, but here are a few.

I hope they make you laugh!

Tell me what you think! :)

 

Stars With NO makup

You know, I am not the type to blog about, or get excited at all about celebrities. For the most part I don't really see them any different then the rest of us. They are human beings like you and me and screw up like you and me. However, After seeing this new trend I had to say something.

We now have seen several stars taking pictures of themselves without any makeup on. I think this is AMAZING! I will be the first to say that I can not STAND it when women pile on the make up
, thinking it will make them beautiful. (And if you are getting offended by that you are probably the person I am talking about ;) The very simple and crucial truth is that YOU ARE ALREADY BEAUTIFUL! Stop using makeup to cover up your much more attractive natural beautify. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind makeup, but you girls got to remember it is meant to accent NOT cover up or create! I think it is fair to say that most you girls out there can easily get away with a file eyeliner or nothing at all. I have seen far too many girls cake on the makeup when hey are already beautiful.

Now, on to the stars.

First off - Taylor Swift with no makeup.

I have always thought Taylor Swift is absolutely gorgeous. I actually do like some of her music and she follows it up with a very nice and innocent look. So it really wasn't much of a surprise to see that her without her makeup is just a beautiful.

She has a very natural "Girl next door" look and absolutely piercing blue eyes. She is a beautiful talented young lady. (And I have to say it is nice to see that she is wearing nice and modest apparel.)








Next up - Kim Kardashian with no makeup

So, I'm am NO fan of the Kardashians. In fact I would go as far as to say I hate those types of shows. I can't stand there attitudes mainly. Anyway, Kim Kardashian is the star of that show and yes she is very beautiful but she always has a "Makeup mask" on so not many people could say if she was truly beautiful.

Well Apparently she took a picture of  herself on her phone with no makeup and I have to say she look much better! She may be a selfish jerk but no one can argue after this that she is very pretty.




Last but not least - Snooki with no makeup

Holy crap! To show you the contrast I put a picture of Snooki without makeup beside a picture of her as she normally appears. I don't even know what else to say. I mean... look! I'm sorry, but Snooki with all that makeup on is gross! I honestly find her very very ugly with it. Not a fan, at all. Her attitude also make her even uglier.

Now, that being said, this picture of her without her makeup on is absolutely stunning! She is actually gorgeous underneath that mask she wears! Now, to be honest, I wouldn't really be surprised if this turns out not to actually be her, but if it is then Snooki.... PLEASE stop wearing makeup! You are MUCH sexier without it.

And to all you ladies out there, if this does not tell you that society is wrong, I don't know what will. You ARE beautiful!

Chistmas + Money = ???

I may only be 26 years old but I have definitely experienced the stress of Christmas. In fact, I would say that anyone older then the age of 17 has experienced the worry, stress, heartache, strain, and all around hassle that comes along with the Christmas season. The hassle of getting presents, the time it takes to get those presents, the disappearing of the money required, and the complete feeling of disarray can take its toll on anyone.

This year is particularly hard for me. This is the first year I have had a wife to join in on my Christmas celebration. This comes with mixed emotions of extreme joy and unprecedented stress. I have never had to look out for someone else during the hassle of Christmas, and I have never had so many bills to bay either. How is someone suppose to not only pay their bills that they scrimp to pay every month, but also find a way to get the money to buy presents and pay for a plane ticket to go see the ones they love so dear? It is amazing to me that the time of year that should be the most joyous and wonderful is the most stressful and worrisome.

Honestly, there is very little that we can do to stop this trend of hardships around Christmas time. But that is not to say we can not do something to help those around us.

Yesterday, I got a text from a good friend that I have not talked to in several months. As soon as I saw who it was from it brought a smile to my face. I was eager to talk to her and find out what has been going on in her life, but most of all I was delighted that she thought of me and sent me a text merely saying Hi.

Isn't that the spirit of Christmas? Isn't that what we should be doing to spread the love of our Savior? How hard is it to pick up your phone and push a few keys? It only takes that one small act to brighten someones day. Just say Hey. Tell them you miss them. You may not get to actually see them for Christmas, but the very fact that you are thinking about them will let them know that someone out there cares for them. That maybe the love of the Lord can spread through the hassle and chaos of the Holiday season. Don't let the hardships of this time stop you from reaching out. You really will have NO idea of the impact you may have.

Appreciate the Time You Have

It is around 5 am and I lie in bed sleeping peacefully. I am awakened by an alarm my wife set so she could help a friend out and take her to the airport. She turns over, kisses me and tells me she loves me, then gets out of bed and is on her way. I turn over and shield myself from the cold with the covers and quickly fall back asleep.

When I awake the second time I am delighted to find my lovely wife kissing me once again. She quickly snuggles into bed and we hold to each other as the cold enters the blanket barrier I had made. As I close my eyes and genuinely tell my lady I love her, I realize how lucky I am. It dons on me that the vast majority of marriages (or perhaps even relationships) are not genuinely happy to see and hold their spouse.

What happened to our society? Why are people so determined to get what they "want" and sacrifice the very things that are important to them? With just the simplest jester of a kiss and embrace I am reminded of the simple beauty of my life. I am reminded of the true joy that comes from love and family. Why would someone throw that away just because they don't want to give up some attribute of themselves? Have we really forgotten that a relationship is work? That BOTH parties must bend?

 Just a few days ago I got a message on Facebook from an friend that was just telling me how she was happy that "My dreams came true." I really thought about it at that point... Had they?

Was this really the life I have always wanted? I looked back and remembered how I felt that morning laying in bed with my wife. A smile adorned my face and I realized yes, it was. It is not ANYTHING like I imaged, but it is the life I have always wanted. And my dreams really have come true.

Shouldn't we all feel that way about our lives? And if you don't.... Why don't you? It's your choice. Be happy with the choices you've made.

Computer Clean up...over $200!?!?

So, I just started a new job at an awesome company as a Computer Technician. I am actually the guy that you go to at various computer stores to fix your computer from viruses and such. This is nothing new to me since I have been working on computers since middle school, so fixing issues (even complex issues) are not a big deal to me. However, because I have always fixed my own computer problems and changed anything out that I needed to I have never had to pay someone else to do it. So imagine my surprise when I over hear our sales guys sell our package for over $100 bucks! THEN imagine my surprise even further when I find out that we are actually the cheapest in the business!!

Did you know that if your computer is on the fritz places like Best Buy and such is on average $150 just to LOOK at your computer?!?! Then is could be an easy $50-$400 to fix it after that?! That's crazy! All of a sudden I realize why there is money in the IT business... Because people will pay that!! I guess I shouldn't complain sense that is what I am getting into. lol

When I found all this out I actually remembered an incident I had forgot. My computer hod some major issues at one point and I just wanted to reformat the entire computer. This was on a version of Windows that did not have the format option installed on the computer so you had to have a CD, however, I had lost mine. I decided to check around to see if some computer place would install it for me for cheap. when i found a place that would do it they told me it would be $125! Just fort a reformat! I don't know if you know how little you have to do for that, but it is as simple as booting up your computer with the disk inside and following the prompts! I thought they were just a rip off, but apparently this is the normal price range.

Like I said before, I shouldn't really complain since I am the guy that will be getting paid that in the future. I guess I am just a little dumbfounded.

Can we truly be content?

Can we truly be content? Do we want to be? What really is being content? Well, first of all, what I mean by content is happy staying where you are. The dictionary.com defines being content as "satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else." To the hopeful reader this may sound appealing, what is right for them, or maybe even what they have been trying for. However, is this really what you want?

By definition, if you are content, then you are not looking to digress or fall in anyway, but also you are not looking to grow either. If you are content where you are in life, in your job, in your schooling, or almost anything in life, then you will stay exactly where you are for the rest of your life. I dare any of you to talk to your grandparents and ask if they wished things had stayed EXACTLY the way they were when they were your age. The answer would almost certainly be no. If it had they would not have experienced all the great things they had. Perhaps they would not have had your parents, or got a curtain job that helped them support their family.

Now, there is a point to make here that is very important. I am in NO WAY saying this is a reason to look down on, or degrade yourself in anyway! If you look in the mirror and think how disgusting, pathetic, and ugly you are then you are not helping anybody. Especially not yourself. So you may ask, "Well, why would I change myself if I were satisfied?" Because the goal here and in life in general is NOT to be satisfied or content, but to grow; to constantly try to be better. And while you are getting better you should be happy with where and who you are.

Do you think he would have made it where he is today if Bill Gates had been content with his first million dollars? I have no doubt that, at one point,getting a million dollars was one of his goals. If he would have just given up there and said, "Well, I did it. I'm good." he would NOT be where he is today, one of the richest people on this planet. 


If money is not what motivates you, take into consideration Gandhi, or Mother Teressa. Do you think they were the type of people that did one good thing a day then called it quits? Do you think that after one inspirational trip they just kicked there feet back and said, "Man, glad that's over. I should be good for a while."?


I really hope no one misinterprets this post as a way of telling themselves they are not good enough. Because the simple fact is you ARE good enough, but why stop there? Now, I am no picture perfect example of this, but I think what is important is that we understand this concept and at least try to achieve it.

The ever changing price of happiness

What is the price for success? What is truly considered success? When will I be "OK"? Is it too late for me?

Some of these questions have been resonating in my mind for a few days now. It is my belief that we all ask ourselves these questions and ask them several time throughout our lives, and, indeed, I believe the answer to each question has the ability to change depending on your current stage in life. Our particular circumstances generally end up defining how we feel and what we expect the future to become. So, really, the real question is how do we stay happy?

Happiness
If our general happiness and outlook on the future is based largely on what your circumstances are at that particular moment, and those circumstances regularly change, how can we stay happy? Is there a constant that we can hold onto? Any religious person would say that God is the only true constant. That our lives are far too complicated and unpredictable to rely on mortality.

On the other hand, a non religious person would say that religion is not constant if there is no God to provide. So they, in turn, would look for something in this life they could hold on to.

What are YOUR thoughts?

Success
One could categorize success as the funds received every month or year, or the feeling of power or importance in their lives. Another would say it is the success of his/her children and their happiness, or the happiness felt from having those children. Yet another may say it is the feeling of freedom of debt and worry of finances.

Truly, I believe it is an individual perspective of what is important to you. I believe it is innate in us to want our posterity to be happy and loved, but I also believe people can push that aside enough to make other things such as money or financial freedom more important. So the question is what is important to you? You may be surprised to realize that, despite what you WANT, something you didn't expect is more important than you supposed.

Now, I believe it is important to realize that NON of these options are necessarily wrong or right. They are merrily priorities. To me, it only become wrong when you neglect one for the other.

I have never searched for riches or fame or any type of riches. All I have ever wanted was to provide for my family, yet I did not realize how important that was to me until I got married. I absolutely HATE the fact that my wife has to work right now in order to pay the bills. So, for right now, obtaining an income is high in my priorities right now. Five years down the road, that may very well change, but as I said earlier it is determined by your current circumstance.

Ultimately, I believe your happiness is dependent on yourself. One can find happiness in the dirt and grime of the world if his/her priorities are on what they wish. Anyone that knows me knows that I, myself, struggle with this, but I do believe it. I am not saying it is easy, and I AM saying that you wont get it right away. In fact, you may get it one moment and then something may happen and you may have to rediscover it, but I do believe it is there.

So what if it rains!

So, this past week I have been in Portland, Oregon. It is sooooo beautiful there! Green as far as the eyes can see! I lived in Oregon for 2 years and loved every minute of it. In fact, I hope to actually move there one day with my wife. I love the feeling I get when I am there. And, yes, I know that it rains ALL THE TIME there, but I can't help but love it.


In going there this last time it really made me think about how we as humans view things. If any of you have ever been to Portland you know that it is full of WIERDOS! Everyone there seems to try and outdo the other in wierdness. It is truly a place of variety and diversity. Once could easily look at all the strange people in Portland and say something like "I could never live here, there are just so many wierdos!" In my point of view, those weirdos are the ones that give spice to the world. Can you imagine what it would be like if everyone was just cut and dry? One may not like the different people because they have a different opinion about things you feel strongly about. That may be true, but that is no reason to shun them, or berate their opinion. Everyone has different view points and we should use those view points to see around the obstacles in front of us.

Another thing I thought of was the fact that it rains all the time there. A Lot of people would hate that and say it would depress them. I know about depression. i have suffered with it all my life. There are somethings that you can not change with it. And it is true that some things with depression are very chemical, but there is also alot of it that is physiological. It may rain a lot in your life, but ultimately it is your perspective that really matters. When I hear people talk about Oregon and how they hate the rain all I can think is if it wasn't for "All that rain" it would NOT be green and beautiful!! The cup can be half full you know. lol So when the rains of life weigh you down, try to take a look at what will grow from it after.

Yet, I am not Destroyed

This whole week has been good to me. Things are going well and I am happy. I look outside and actually see the color that has for so long eluded me. As I see such wonderful things I wonder what it is that has changed, for as I look I see that all is, in actuality, the same as before.

So what is different? Is it the time that has passed that, perhaps, mended the broken pieces in my heart? Or is it the people I am now around that have uplifted me or the people I have distanced myself from that no longer hold me down? As I ponder on what it is that has changed I realize what it truly is.

It's me.

The world outside has not changed. When I look at the news it is still filled with disaster and heartache. When I think about my schooling I am still in debt. In truth, all the things that stressed me out before remain. The fundamental difference, However, is that I have learned how to trust. To trust myself, to trust my wife, to trust God.

I have realized that I have no control over this world, but I have ALL the control over MY world. I can not change the terrible things in this world. One could liken it today to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Yet, I am not destroyed. I still prosper and if I truly think of it, I am greatly blessed! I dare not go into the specifics of my life to explain why I am so blessed, but suffice to say that they are nothing extraordinary. My blessings are the same as you and the person down the street. So why am I happy? Because I choose to be.

No one can know what the future will hold, and you can be almost curtain it will hold hardships and trials. However, please don't forget that there will be just as many, if not more, happy and fortunate times as the hard.

Remember to SMILE! :)

A Reason for Trying

Over the past few months there has been so many changes to my life. I have gone through an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows, striving and winning, and coasting just to get by. Yet, through all ofwhat I have been going through one thing still remains the same... I'm Happy :)

Anyone who has been married knows the stress that is involved with this undertaking. Countless hours of preparation and study into various avenues were taken for just a simple wedding. ( I mean, come on, we had Odder Pops at our wedding!) This in itself is enough to get anyone stressed out, even if it is a "Good" stress.

Add to that the fact that my hours were cut at work to only 4 hours a week, going to school full time at the end of getting my degree when it is hardest, finding a new job, making sure we can pay bills, updating my portfolio, actually getting a new job that takes a large amount of work and you get a recipe for stress and potential mental explosion! You all know how this is. I don't need to tell you that life is hard. Every single one of you have experienced it.... ARE experiencing it! This is not new. What is new, at least for me, is that I have learned to just breath.

I have so many things on my plate that some would say it is imposable to NOT be discouraged, but I can tell you, surprising enough, I'm not! I am actually very hopeful for the future! Maybe it is because of my new job that helps me feel good, maybe it's because I have an AMAZING wife who supports me and helps me every step of the way, maybe its because I was raised to see the good, I have no idea. But I honestly don't think it was any one thing at all.

If I had to pin it down to just one thing I would have to say its my ambition, my drive, my reason for trying. What does this entail? So many things! My particular reasons for trying simple yet powerful. I am newly married and MUST provide for my family. This means I have to work NOW for us to be happy and make it by, and I must work for the FUTURE by going to school and making sure I am bettering myself for a better life. I am looking for more then just "OK" We currently are doing "OK" we could get by no problem the rest of our lives like this and be fine, but I am looking for more then fine, more then "OK" I don't care about the money part of that, but I am working to make a better LIFE! And I am doing it now, because if you don't do it now you won't ever. It's true when they say "Tomorrow" will never come.

Another thing that is important is chiefly, my Wife. She is such a blessing to me. She believes in me truly. She watches me as I am trying my best and literally tells me everyday that she is thanksfull for me and all I do, even though we are dirt poor right now. And she isn't just sitting there either. She is trying her best. She is also going to work and helping me pursue what it is that I wish to pursue. She is amazing.

Now, i don't know what your motivations are. I don't know what your reasons for trying are, but I can GUARANTEE you they are out there!!! Find them and cling to them!!! I don't care if it is just to make money and get the fancy car you have always wanted, or to be recognized my people, or even if it is just to get out of debt. I DON'T CARE! The simple fact is this..


If you don't do something NOW, won't the next 5 years look exactly like the last 5 years?

The long process of growing

First of all, sorry it has been so long sense I have posted. I recently got married and have been a tad busy with that. ;)

It is actually my marriage that brings up the point I wish to make today. I am married to the most amazing woman in the world. We were just married last Friday and have already gone through several trials. We have grown and matured with each other and have had to make several very important decisions together as well, and as I was laying with her today I realized something that made me very very grateful for our situation.

Hannah and I are both 25 years old and have never been married. We have both longed for marriage and a family for many years (me personally since I was 15) and we both strongly agree that marriage is a sacred bond that should not be taken lightly and should never use divorce as an out. (Divorce in it self is a completely different matter that I will not get into today. Suffice to say that there is a time and a place for divorce, but should not be used frequently.) We have both matured enough that we have our own foundations and know who we are. I am very happy that I waited to marry such a wonderful person.

To some this may sound strange. To think that someone could wait to be married, or even have sex, until they are 25 years old is rather ludicrous in this day and age. It is not uncommon for someone my age to have already been married and divorced. In fact, I have heard the term "Starter Marriage" used as an excuse to get married and divorce far too much. In our society we see this as normal and acceptable, but if you truly step back and take a look at the big picture you will see a major flaw in this mindset.

I am a Christan and believe that God's plan and order of life is perfect and he knows what is best. However, even if you are not a Christan the method of thinking which I am about to describe still applies and should be considered.

When you are young you are in the "Me" stage of life. This is not to say that you are selfish, but it is evident that you are looking out for yourself and wanting to learn everything you can. This is normal and actually healthy. From the time we can distinguish the difference between right and wrong we are trying to perfect ourselves the best way we know how. Some may take a more destructive path, but the purpose is the same, they are trying to become who they want to be. This process of discovering and perfecting takes place until the time you get married.

Once you are married you then are no longer focused on just yourself, but also your spouse. You no longer spend the entire day playing games, doing chores, doing your hobbies, or anything that is solely a one person activity. You use your time to do things as a couple and make sure you set time aside for that person. This is not to say that you no longer are yourself or even that you no longer have your alone time. There needs to be a healthy amount of self discovery still, even after marriage, but the simple fact remains that the most of your time will be devoted to the other. Not to give them everything they want, but to work together to start to build a home where ever you live. To make 1 life out of 2 people. And believe me, this is not a simple task.

After you have built your home and feel complete, you are ready to add to that home, for what is a house without people to live in it? It is the next step to have children and to raise those children to be good outstanding people. This is probably the most important step and will last the rest of your life. No matter how old you or the child may get, you are still their parent.

First you are born. Then you are made strong (not perfected, because that will take more then a lifetime.) Then you are given another. Together you start to build. When your house is strong you are given more. Thus we see the progression of life and the broader picture.

Notice that I never gave ages for these steps. That is because NO ONE can tell you when you are ready for the next step. And to be quite honest, often times YOU don't even know. I remember when I was 17, still in high school, and I thought I was ready to marry the girl I was dating at the time. I was determined that I knew myself and knew I could make it. I look back today and realize I was a fool. I was no where near ready and am very grateful to NOT have taken that path at that time.

Now, before anyone goes and assumes I am condemning those that got married young or started a family when they may not have been married, let me just say that I am doing NO SUCH THING. We must always remember that despite ANY decision we make there is always a way to make the outcome better. And if anyone knows my family history they know that I speak from experience and with complete knowledge of the truth of this.

These steps go in this particular order for a reason. It is meant to be this way. Unfortunately we usually do not see its purpose until after we have screwed up a bit, but we can do what we can to help those after us and to help our future as well.

Osama Bin Laden killed! A Reign of Terror Ended

It is fair to say that I am not much of a political person or even into governmental issues, but the issue of finding Bin Laden has been something I have always agreed with. This mass murderer needed to be stopped at all costs. Not only was he an enemy and tyrant of the United States, but he was a murderer and the very face of evil for the whole world. It is in this realization that I celebrate his death. Good riddens to bad rubbish.

As I was talking to my roommates and parents about this historic event it occurred to me that never in my life have I ever celebrated the death of another human being. Although it is hard to imagine, God even loves this low life and wishes to have him in his presence. As I thought about this I was reminded of the meny accounts int he bible when God had to force his hand in making sure justice and righteousness was carried out, and I do believe Justice was carried out in stopping a tyrant from ever hurting another individual again. I do not profess to speak for God in any manner, but I do say that the world is better off with a worm like Osama Bin Laden dead!

It occurred to me as well that in many ways Osama Bin Laden was the Hitler of our generation. It could be argued that Osama did not do quite as many horrible things or did not even have as much power as Hitler, but I believe it is fair to say that he was an enemy to the world just as Hitler was.

Bin Laden was not just the United State's enemy. He was a world wide terrorist! He killed thousands of people from all nations and was hunted by more then just the U.S. As President Obama stated last night, it was in conjunction with Pakistan that we even got Bin Laden. He was a tyrant, murderer, thief, radicle,  and poor excuse for a human being, and the world is a better place without him.

God Bless America

Judge Ye Not

For those that don't know, I am recently engaged to a beautifully wonderful woman that I am privileged to even know, much less marry. Our story is a little strange and many would say they don't really agree with some of our decisions. Sufficeth to say our courtship was fast and unexpected, and some have given us flack for this. With the convenience of Facebook we have been able to inform others of the changes we have had to make to our wedding (Dates, plans, ect) in mass quantity. With just one message we were able to tell hundreds of people that we moved our wedding date up.

Just a few hours after doing so one of the people who disagreed with us "Rushing into marriage" posted an ambiguous message on there status. She stated that she didn't understand why people rush into marriage and the conversation that followed was more confirmation to her statement.

When I read this it did not make me upset. In fact, it made me sad for all those that participated and sad for those that think the same as they. How can anyone know the exact situation of another? It matters not how similare a situation you may have been through or how many people have told you the same story. There is literally no way to know another's situation fully. So does that mean you can not have an opinion? Of course not! It is every person's right to have an opinion. The problem comes with those who think their way of the thinking is the ONLY right path.

Looking at my situation, it is interesting to really look at the big picture. When you hear people talk about how they would never rush into marriage it comes from 2 different types of people: Those who have had a similar experience and it crushed them, and those that have never been in the situation at all. Since the latter has no clue of what they speak it is unfair for them to speak as if they know and unwise for anyone to take their advice.

The first, however, has a place to give a word of caution. Their is nothing wrong with this either. They are only at fault when they force their opinion or try to get the other to change. In fact, I have been in this exact situation. Before I met my current fiance I was engaged to another woman that left me very harshly and broke my heart and dreams for a period. This experience hurt me deeply and I even said to myself that I would not rush into a marriage again. I remember even counseling others to not rush into it as well, but I always made sure not to be forceful and just give my opinion and love the other no mater what they chose.

It was just over a year and a half after that that I was in a similar situation again with my current fiance. I found myself falling for this wonderful woman far faster then anyone since my Ex and I couldn't be happier. Sometimes I wonder if i would have denied myself the pleasure and beautiful future with her if I would have said "No, we have to date at least 6 months!" I do not regret my decision and can guarantee you I never will.

Now, lets take a look at the third party that everyone seems to forget, or choose not to see. Along with those that have had a hurtful experience and those that have no clue of what they speak there is also the group of couples that have "Rushed into marriage" and are happily married to this day. Why do we choose to ignore this group? Do we believe they don't exist or refuse to admit that others could actually be happy in this situation? Indeed it is the natural human reaction to just see the negative and overlook the positive. In fact, many who read this will likely say "Sure, but those are the exception" Well to those I have 2 things to say...

1) Maybe you should widen your gaze. It is likely that those you talk to have been in the 'Hurt' catigory I spoke of early because they were not smart about the situation and was focused on the wrong things. If you look around at others who are happily married you will find that many were rather quick engagements. As stated in an eHow article:

The success of any of these marriages relies on the people involved in the relationship. Basic elements remain fundamental to marriage regardless of the length of time spent dating prior to that union.Read more: How Long Do People Usually Date Before They Get Married? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5376907_long-usually-date-before-married.html#ixzz1KZIooTMO

2) How dare you look down on another for being happy! It is this exact view point that henders you from having something as beautiful as this! My dear friends, be happy and stop being so pessimistic! No one likes a "Downer"

Overall, I just wish to get everyone to realize that you can not know another's situation perfectly and thus should and can not assume you know better then they. Their is only one that can fully understand, and I guarantee you he will not tell you if someone else is doing it wrong.

A Better Outlook: But how do I do it?

Sorry it has taken so long to post something. I have recently got engaged and if any of you are married you know how much time that sucks from you, and on top of that I have an art show coming up! Things have (needless to say) time consuming!

Because of all these things that have been happening I have been thinking more and more about how our attitude effects the outcome of our lives. Really, not just our lives but also the projects we work on. Be it our work at our jobs or the everyday interactions with our family and/or friends, it is all effected by our attitude. If we call someone that frequently upsets us expecting to get frustrated at them I can guarantee you will.

Not too long ago I talked with my soon to be in-law about just this topic and he said the same thought. "Whatever you search for, you will find." This statement is so true in every aspect of our lives. Many people laugh at the idea of 'positive thinking' but I'd bet you all those people have not tried it.

By no means am I saying that changing your outlook will make your 'life better', but I can say that it will be more bearable. Your hardships and struggles will still be there and will not just magically disappear. They will, however, be magically lighter, magically easier, and you will magically smile just a tad more.

Many may read this and think

I would love to have that outlook, but how do I do it?

This is actually a fantastic question and one that I have struggled with many times in my life. Unfortunately, I do not have a direct answer. the simple fact of the matter is that every single person decides how they will learn this lesson. Since every individual has their own way of learning it is imposable to have one universal answer. Their is, However, some advice that can be given:

• Fake it 'till you make it - This is the concept that you act like the person you wont to be (or do the things you want to develop) even if it means it is uncomfortable for you. You 'fake' being the person you want to be until that is the person you become.I used to be greatly opposed to this concept. I did not like the idea of acting like someone else and not truly being yourself. I felt that if I "Faked" the way I was then I would be lying to everyone.
  The truth is that you are not actually lying about anything. It is not lying if that is the person you want to be. It may not be easy to do this and many may even call you out on it, but if you stick with it you will naturally take on those attributes you want. Then the next thing you know you don't even have to think about it anymore. So if that means just forcing a smile when talking to someone that frustrates you, then your are on the right path.
  

• Surround yourself with what you want to become - This seems like an easy enough ans simple concept, but trust me, its not. This is one of those things that you really have to be dedicated to in order to work. This entails cutting yourself off from the people and friends that are not acting the way you would like to be. Unfortunately, the people you surround yourself with DO influence who you are as a person.Please understand that I do not mean you should burn the bridges of those you care about. What I am saying is you must weigh if them bringing you down is worth risking your happiness. I have done this before without making either party angry. In fact if they are true friends then they should understand that you are not comfortable in the situation and should respect you for what you choose. Sure, you may get a little hazing, but trust me, this hazing is a small price for happiness. 

Just try to remember that your life is up to YOU and it is only YOU who can determine how it will end up.

People Do Change

I have been reflecting on my life lately, both on what my life is now and what it used to be, and it has lead me to see how I have changed in a relatively short amount of time. This time last year I was mourning over a lost love and just trying to make it through the days. I was faking and lying to myself to try and feel better.

Now, I am the happiest I have been in a very very long time. I have come to the realization that the "Love" I lost previously was an amazing learning experience and was a blessing she left. I have an amazing girl now that understands who I am and loves me for it, and most importantly I am happy with where I am.

In previous years if I ever felt happy and content I always had the thought in the back of my mind saying "Nothing good really lasts. So be prepared for the fall." And while I do understand that you can't be on "Cloud 9" forever, I have realized that you really shouldn't look at the world like that.

The truth is that good things do last. It is us, as imperfect humans, that choose to see the hard times over the good. Because, honestly, it is much easier to see the hard times over any good time, but what I have discovered is that we are not simply pieces of debris floating down the river of life. We have great influence of the direction our life can take and how it will effect us.

Just as I mentioned in a past post, We choose to be happy everyday.

I Make the Choice Everyday

I was recently told something that really showed me how we should view the important things in our lives. The things in our lives that are the most important to us are not choices that are made simply one time in our lives, but they are many and frequent.

Many people are scared that they may make a 'Wrong Choice' in their life that will lead them to a disastrous outcome. The most common being "Will I (or Have I already) choose the right person for me to marry? Or will I regret it in the future?"

While it is very important that you find someone that is right for you and understands you I think it is even more important that we remember that loving someone is not just a choice we make once in our lives. Every single day that we live we get to make the choice to fall in love again. We choose our own thoughts, we choose our own deeds, and we choose weather we are going to be happy or not. Stop focusing on past choices and realize that you have those SAME choices today.

When I was told this it was in reference to a relationship, but I hope everyone can realize that it expands much farther then that. The choice to be happy is everyday, and I don't just mean the "I am going to be happy today" choice. I also am referring to the joys of just sitting down and looking at what you already have.

What price is paid for your children? Can anyone REALLY ever replace the joy you feel in them? What about your spouse or loved one? How dare you resist love from the one who truly knows you! How about the simple fact that you are here, now, and have the choice to choose!

I am going through a transition right now that is being scrutinized by those watching and ridiculed by some who would disagree. These feelings and oppositions are naturally weighing me down, but the beauty of it all comes down to this simple phrase.

I make the choice everyday.

I make the choice when I wake up. I make it when I go to school. I make it when I return. I make it as I spent the day with my wonderful girl. And I make it as I lay my head down at night. My life is my choice and my happiness is determined by the choices I make EVERYDAY, not just the significant ones.

So let not those that oppose you choose how to live your life. Make the choice yourself and be content with it. It is the only way to happiness.

The Stages of Life

The stages of life are many and vast. We go through an unending amount of stages in our life. I remember as a kid hearing one of my sisters talking about me and saying "He's just going through a stage" And they were right. At the time of any stage we are in we think this is permanent and is just who we are. However, the truth of it is that at any given point in our life we can change to not only what we want to be, but also to what we need to be.

I was talking with a friend just yesterday and she related some struggle she is going through. It was interesting and a little funny, though I dare not laugh, because I remembered going through the exact same thing. Does that make me an expert on the subject? Not at all. In fact, she could have a completely different outcome than me, but this is the very beauty of having others around us.

When we share our experiences with each other we are giving them the option to learn from what we have experienced. We have to understand as we do that that they may not accept what we say or agree, and that is okay. The beauty of chose is the fact that we chose how we learn. Also, as we tell them our stories we must not assume we have all the answers, because my answer may very well be different then yours. So all I can do is give you my experience and you do with is as you wish.

Now, what this also means is that I must be open and willing to accept the advice and council of those that are more experienced than I. Remember that all things are double sided and varied.

Boy Meets Girl #2

Boy meets girl
Girl talks to boy because he is a little afraid.
Boy and girl see each other occasionally, but are merely thoughts to the other.
A defining moment comes when boy realizes his interests are peaked.
Boy wrestles with himself for a time because of past experiences.
Boy asks girl out and before their first real date he knows something is different.
Boy cherishes the time to grow both in his own skin and with another.
Girl becomes attached to boy and questions arise.
Boy is determined to find out for himself what is happening.
Girl is very caring and just what boys needs.
Boy and girl ponder on the possibilities and are frightened.

What is the price for happiness? What is the outcome of an unwilling patient desire? Is this the path to finding the hearts closure it has longed for? Or is it merely postponing the inevitable demise it has come so accustom to? No one can truly know and only time will tell, but time is exactly what is needed. Let time rear its face in time and bring closure to a couple waiting.

You Just Never Know

I remember when I was a kid when life was just so tarable. Maybe their was a problem at school, or one of my sisters made me mad. I remember thinking how bad my life sucked and how I just wanted out.

Today I look back on those times and think "What was I thinking?!" Life was SOOOO easy then! I didn't have anything to worry about except my own happiness and I chose to take that happiness and turn it into depression! Oh how I wish I could go back and shake that little boy around. I do not, however, regret anything in my childhood. the mistakes I have made and the lessons I have learned have come from these experiences. So this does give me hope that the trials I go through on a daily bases will seem small in the future.

Now, I think we all kind of go through the debate in our head weather "it" is worth "it all". There are times in our lives when we just lie in bed and wish beyond anything else we have ever wished for that the next day would come and free us from the ache we feel. This is normal. And we all end up asking ourselves "why". Why do I have to go through this? Why is this so hard? Why here? Why now? And then we end up asking.. What's the point?

What I have discovered (On top of the whole thing helping you grow into a better person) is that the same reason why all this happens is the same reason why you have to keep going. You just never know. It is true. You just NEVER know what is going to happen, and this works for both the bad and the good.

Every time you end up asking yourself 'why?'; you always find it unfair and you NEVER thought it would happen, or at least not now. That is always how I feel. I was once engaged and a few months before the wedding my fiance left me and didn't want to speak again. You can imagine I had a lot of 'Why?' questions to ask. It was devastating and I wanted to be free from it. I never expected that to happen.

Then, after some time had passed I realized that I was over her. I was happy again and it didn't bother me to think of her. Why? I didn't expect that either.

The concept of 'You never know' is equally dispersed to the good and bad of our lives. We just have the natural human tenancy to only focus on the bad, but I challenge you to look back at your life. Go through it step by step and you may see that you have had things fall into your lap as much, if not more, than crap hitting the fan. Try to look at life differently and maybe life will be different for you.