Perplexed by Happiness

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My thoughts are scattered today, for I am perplexed by happiness. How do we find it? How do we keep it when we do?

In my experience, true happiness (not complacency) is fleeting and situational; at least in my life. I struggle with happiness, perhaps, a little more then the average person because of my depression, but this does not mean I can not find it. Unfortunately, my supreme hope of happiness has to come from the stories of others. Often I have to gather strength from the examples of the strong. This does help me from time to time, but these are merely inspirational occurrences to help me pass the day. True happiness is not found in others, but in yourself.

I am not saying I have never been happy or that I have never had true joy, but this is just the point. I have had it, and it has left. I do not say i am unhappy either, but merely.... here.

There are so many examples and ways to find happiness. Everyone has a way. One person finds extreme strengths and power from God. Another finds their strength in the arms of the one they love. And yet another may find their happiness in a sport or activity. So I do not think there is a supreme answer. At least not at this point. Right now we all must find what life has for us.

Just yesterday I talked to a friend that I haven't talked to in a very long time. She is an inspiration to me because she is one of those people where you find yourself saying "I wish I were like her". She is going through a big challenge right now that is wearing her thin. (As we all do from time to time) This trial has been weighing on her for well over 2 months now. At the end of our conversation she tells me with all seriousness and determination that it is all for the best and that she will just learn from it.

How much better can you look at something? She is completely right. As she gets over this hardship it will come to shape her and help her grow, and she sees this during the trial. A true inspiration.

Perhaps happiness is in not found, but earned. Maybe our joy and peace can ONLY come after we have overcome the dirt and grime of this life.

One thing is for sure. Despite the hardships and countless hours of distress and grief I have experienced, I am still convinced happiness exists and IS obtainable. This is the hope in my life.